Masturbation Tehniques

Want a blowjob? Of course you do, but how do you think you’re going to get one? Sure, you might get lucky the first few times, but if you’re relying on a loving lady to blow you long term, there’s going to come a time when if you want the sucks, you’re going to  have to lay down the bucks. Nothing as crude as actually paying for the blowjob itself of course, but you have to show how much you care and appreciate her efforts. This means digging deep. Listed below are some top turn-ons for women that have been known to produce some very positive results.

First technique: Shoes. Girls can’t get enough of them, but they’re a purchasing minefield. Even if you get the right color you will get the wrong type of heel. If you get the right type of heel you will get the wrong type of strap. If you get the wrong brand, God help you.

Second technique: Car. Women tend to love small but highly equipped and sexy looking cars. The Mini Cooper is a case in point, but at over $20,000, if your pockets are that deep, it’s probable you are not having too much of a problem in the ‘head’ hunting department.

Third technique: Mobile/i-phone. A girlie phone in pink with lots of accessories and buttons to press is a big female turn on. There is however a drawback. Armed with a decent mobile, girls spend the whole damn time texting, and the only time she uses her mouth is to talk on it.

Fourth technique: Diamonds. The oldest trick in the book, ladies go gaga for them and a good blowjob is entirely on the cards, but to a girl, diamond rings say long term strings. Be sure that’s what you want before you slap down the credit card.

The fifth option*: The Autoblow Blast. Finally, a no brainer. The Autoblow Blast is the world’s first fully automatic blowjob machine.  The Autoblow provides an authentic deep throat blowjob experience time after time. Just penetrate the soft silicone sleeve with your lubed-up cock, switch on the multi-speed controller, lie back and think of all the money you’re saving trying to find her the right gift just to get the exact same result.

*Recommended – visit www.roboticblowjob.com

1) Waterfall

There are some great methods for having some rub-a-dub-dub in the tub, and it’s even because there is no mess to clean up afterwards.

‘Waterfall’ is an intermediate masturbation technique because it will require you to practice your position in the bathtub in order to masturbate without pain or discomfort.

First, you will need to find a way to kneel with most of your weight on your knees inside the bathtub. You should place sponges, wash cloths, or an old towel under your knees to cushion your weight.

The second trick to getting this technique just right is obtaining the correct water temperature. Let warm water run for at least 3 to 5 minutes before placing your cock under the water flow. Test the water with your wrist or forearm first. (The hands and fingers are not very good at sensing temperature.)

Third, you will need to pull yourself in as close as you can to the stream of water. After that, it is up to you which masturbation technique to use.

Tip 1: If you position yourself correctly, you can thrust your body back and forth and
in and out of the water stream as you rock yourself on the pivot of your knees.

Tip 2: The water provides a nice lubrication, but if you require more lubricant,
best to opt for oil based lubes such as Vaseline, certain hand lotions, or even cooking oils.

2) Cascade

‘Cascade’ is a similar technique , but it requires more acrobatics. Again, there’s no mess to clean up after the fun is over.

This technique is an advanced method because it will require you to practice your EXACT position in the bathtub in order to masturbate without pain or discomfort.

You need to get the correct water temperature first. Let warm water run for at least 3 to 5 minutes before placing your body under the water flow. Test the water with your wrist or forearm first.

As with Waterfall, pull yourself in as close as you can to the stream of water. This is the tricky part in this technique. First, you will need to get your rear end as close to the water as possible. Next, you will have to lie down and brace yourself by pushing your hands against the back of the bathtub or wall and push your whole body forward as you lift your legs up in the air and lay them up against the wall with your feet facing the ceiling., allowing the water to cascade over your cock.

Tip 1: Run the warm water in the bathtub with the drain plugged before you start. Otherwise, the bathtub floor is very cold when you lay down on it.

Tip 2: Again, you can opt for an oil based lube if you feel you need additional lubrication. Some of the heavier lubes will not wash off in the water right away.

Tip 3:  If you have a wife or partner, she might just love this technique too! Maybe you can watch each other take turns.

If you are happy and content with your daily date with Mary and her Five Horny Daughters, that’s great, but there are many religions and indeed, whole nations, that are not nearly as disposed to the concept of mounting an assault on your friendly weapon. Here is what a respected Ayatollah has to say on the subject. His ‘masturbation techniques’ are confined to stopping the whole beastly business as quickly as possible. You have no doubt seen numerous samey looking blogs on how to pleasure Percy, we thought you might be interested to see some techniques on how not to. Don’t forget to take copious notes, there will be a test on it later.

‘Masturbation is an affront and an insult to Allah. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you. Ask Allah to help you and give you strength and steadfastness to succeed.

After you have made this decision then observe the following specific guidelines.

Guidelines

1. Realize that you are violating Allah’s command and you are bringing upon yourself a life-long destruction and harm.
2. Never touch the intimate parts of your body unnecessarily.
3. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company. Remember, an idle mind is the devil’s (Shaytaan) workshop.
4. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness.
5. When you bathe, do so as quickly as possible.
6. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove such protective clothing, you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking and the temptation will leave you. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, engage in something useful.
7. Never look at pornographic material.
8. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control this habit. A person must first realize the evil of this act. Secondly he must understand the reason for this behavior. After these 2 steps, the individual needs to become sensitive to the situations and conditions which may cause a person to commit this vile act. Hence a person must guard himself from anything, which may trigger a desire for this act. By following these steps, a person gains the ability to gain victory from this act, hence the power to control this filthy practice is developed.’